Fallon (00:37)
If Book Week has you reaching for the hot glue gun, then hold your horses. This episode has almost nothing to do with sleep, but everything to do with passing on wisdom that's going to have you looking like the hero of Book Week, all for minimal effort. So put down the sequins and step away from your credit card, because this is how we do Book Week right, without losing sleep.
Welcome back to Brand New Little People, the podcast companion to the Sombelle Pediatric Sleep Clinic programs. I'm your host, Dr. Fallon Cook. I've just gotten back from my daughter's bookweek parade and I was driving home and thinking, I've been doing this for 15 years. My son's 15, about to turn 16. And
I was thinking back over the years of how stressed out Bookweek used to have me in the early years, you know, this little toddler heading off to childcare and they're like, they've got to wear a costume. for someone like me who's really not very crafty, that prospect's kind of terrifying. But what I have learned is that it really doesn't have to be hard and it doesn't have to cost a lot of money either. One year I really stupidly forked out probably close to a hundred dollars for a Coraline costume.
And it got worn once for about six hours and that was it. and I like I said, I'm not crafty, so I was never gonna make anything myself. But I just thought when I was driving home, I thought, okay, here is this little bit of parenting wisdom, a few hacks that I can pass on to you guys that hopefully will make your bookweek costumes for your kids that much easier. So let's dive in. Here are my hacks for like
The I suppose the the easiest book week costumes for exhausted parents who don't have time or money to be, you know, doing all these fancy things. So, first up, does your child own a pair of red shoes? Have a bit of a think. Do they have a pair of red shoes? Because if they do, I'm gonna introduce you to Ruby Red Shoes. This is a gorgeous book. and I think Kate Knapp, the author, I'm pretty sure she's Australian.
But this has some of the most beautiful writing for children in it, this book. I still love the Ruby Redshoes books. But how bloody easy is this? You put the red shoes on your kid and you dress them up like Ruby Redshoes, the rabbit, a red scarf. Maybe you've got a set of bunny ears left over from Easter. Whack them on. Your kid is Ruby Redshoes. Done. How easy is that? Best costume idea ever. Another one my daughter had this idea that she had when she was maybe a preschooler heading off to childcare.
She was obsessed with Waltzing Matilda. We had the book of it. So, like the lyrics, all these beautiful pictures and stuff in the book. And she loved the Jolly Swagman and decided she had to be the Jolly Swagman. But it was such an easy one. We had this weirdly, had an Akubra that was left behind in our house when we bought it. so I whacked that on her. She like popped on some clothes she had that had like some Australian animals on them.
I think she was wearing like some cargo pants or something like that. And she took a little toy sheep, or maybe it was a toy dog under her arm. And there you go. She was the Jolly Swagman from Waltzing Matilda. She was very pleased with her costume. although she was pretty annoyed by the end of the day because everyone thought she was a cowboy. But anyway, she did love her costume, which was really awesome. And it was just stuff that we had lying around.
Okay, my next amazing hack. This is a really easy one and just such a fun one as well. Does your child have a t-shirt or a jumper that features a tractor? I mean, there's a lot of kids' clothes out there that have tractors on it. or maybe they've got a toy tractor as well. So you could tuck that toy tractor under their arm and a copy of the this is one of my favorite kids' books of all time. It's all of the factors of why I love tractors by the amazing Davina Bell, an Aussie author as well.
This book is so good. The rhyme is so catchy. I could probably recite the whole thing, but I better not. It is such a beautiful book. But how easy. Your kid gets to take a tractor to school or childcare. They can play with it with their mates all day and celebrate the joy of tractors. I mean, if that's not an easy bookweek idea, I don't know what it is. totally love that one. or maybe you've got a child who loves.
Umbrellas. But this is this is one way you've got to really trust your child. You've got to trust that they're mature enough to handle an umbrella. Sometimes with my older kids, I still wonder if they can be trusted, but this is a great idea. Another beautiful Davina Bell book. I'm like her biggest fan. She does the most beautiful writing for kids' books. this book is under the love umbrella. It is so beautiful and the illustrations are gorgeous. And this is one of those ones where I'm like, I'm gonna keep it forever because in
you know, approximately a million years, I could be a grandparent, and this is one of the ones I'm gonna pull out to read to them. But your child, if they can be trusted with an umbrella, they only need to turn up to book week holding their umbrella. They can literally wear anything. There's kids in this book wearing all sorts of things. Your kid can wear whatever they want. I mean that's pretty simple, isn't it? and if they can't be trusted with an umbrella, I mean, is that not the problem of the teacher?
you might find that your umbrella gets confiscated at school that day. under the love umbrella. It's absolutely beautiful, beautiful book. Super easy costume. now another costume that my daughter came up with, I think she's probably had some of the cooler ideas for bookweek costumes over the years. And this was just so adorable and so easy. One year she went as Weird Barbie.
And if you've seen the Barbie movie, you'll know that Weird Barbie is this character. I think we all probably had a weird Barbie when we were kids.
And it's this Barbie doll that gets scribbled on, has the weird haircut, maybe that its hair got colored in with texta a few times. They're usually wearing outrageous clothing. they've kind of they've been through the wars. They're the weird Barbie. We all had a weird Barbie.
so I don't even know if Weird Barbie's been in a book, to be honest, but like who cares? It's good enough. so this was a really fun one because I just got a cheap Barbie. I think it was a knockoff Barbie, actually, not even a real one. And my daughter colored it in, colored in its hair, chose weird outfit, drew all over it, had fun like decorating the weird Barbie, and then on the dress-up day,
We got out the textas not the permanent markers, I have to say. They were just ordinary water washable textas And we scribbled on her face the same way that she had scribbled
on Weird Barbie's face. And we did her hair the same way, all messy and like with I think she'd done like red and purple in the hair. So we had like red and purple hairspray that we used. Anyway, it was really fun. She looks so cute. And it's the sort of costume again where you can just wear whatever clothes, like the crazier and the more wacky, the better.
she had the best day and got to take that weird Barbie with her and played with it all day. So it was a really fun one and she was really involved in making that outfit, which I think is kind of cool as well. the other cool thing my daughter did, she really does have the best ideas. One year she was just like, I am not wearing a costume. Because sometimes kids go through a bit of a phase where they really do not want any attention on them. And she was just like, mm-mm, I am not gonna be dressing up as anything this year.
And she'd recently got some new clothes that were very cool. I think it was like cool jeans and some jumper that she really loved. And that was what she wanted to wear. And I was like, Well, you've got to be a character from a book. So she wrote a story about a character who wore these exact clothes that she just happened to want to wear to book week. And I can't remember the name of it now. It was like it was a story about a girl and her a wolf, something like that. it was a great story.
so yeah, she just turned up at Book Week holding her little self-written book under her arm, wearing her cool clothes. She felt comfortable, had the best day ever. She actually ended up winning the prize for the best bookweek costume, even though she literally just turned up in her favorite outfit. I think teachers love it when kids go and write their own story and that kind of won their hearts that day. so yeah, that was another really cool, easy one.
But finally, let's get to this year's bookweek costume because I feel like I I've really outdone myself with this one. I'm quite proud of this. So this is for your upper primary school years. what you're gonna do is you're gonna very subtly introduce a book series called Sleepover BFFs. It's basically basically a series of books where these kids have sleepovers, have a whole lot of fun. But what do kids wear to sleepovers? They wear pajamas.
So this was just like the best thing ever when my daughter agreed to this. She picked out some nice PJs that she wanted to wear. She wore them the night before. She got up this morning. All she had to really do was she put on like an eye mask over her head. she had like some warm PJs to go know, over the top because it's absolutely freezing here at the moment. slippers on, took a favorite soft toy. Her best friend did the exact same thing, so they were like at school together.
in the cutest little pajama outfits. They were so comfortable and warm and they were so excited with their costumes. But it was literally so easy. She just rolled out of bed and off we went. and I think kids love wearing pajamas all day. So why not? Like this is this has got to be like the best book week costume ever, right? Where it's just couldn't be more low effort. But the kids are still happy and having fun. And I just think like that's win win.
Especially as a very busy parent. But if your child is not in the upper primary years, I've I've figured out a workaround so you too can send your your baby, your toddler, or your preschooler off to daycare, childcare, kinda in their pyjamas. And that is this incredibly hilarious book called Back to Sleep. And it's written by Zoe Foster Blake, Australian author, of course.
and this is actually probably one of the funniest kids' books I have ever read. I literally could not stop laughing and I had tears rolling down my face the first time I read this one. So yeah, if you've got a really little one and they've got to go to childcare and you're like it's it's six AM and you've realized it's their book week day, you're just gonna leave them in their PJs. You're gonna tuck a teddy under their arm and a copy of this book back to sleep.
And they can even, you know, if they look really tired and cranky, your child is gonna work perfectly with this book about a very tired, cranky child. so yeah, that's I think
that's about as easy as bookweek is gonna get. And I love that I could actually show you guys some of my favorite kids' books too, because they are they're all absolute ripper books that I will be holding on to for many years. but yeah, I was I was thinking if there's any wisdom I can hand down, it's how to survive book week.
being you know, not one of those highly, highly stressed out parents who's trying to put together some amazing creative masterpiece. And look, if that's your favorite thing to do, I'm like all power to you, you go for it. Some parents come alive when they've got the opportunity to do craft. but I'm not one of them. And I just figure there's gonna be parents out there who are just like me who just want bookweek to kind of pass by nice and easily.
So I hope that I hope that one of those hacks really works for you. If you've got your own bookweek hack or just an idea for a costume that was so thrifty, easy, or hilarious, please tell me, shoot us a message or email us or contact us through social media. I'd love to see. I would love to see the costumes that you've come up with. and if you've got a great hack, let me know so we can share it with everyone else.
So there you go. It wasn't a lot to do with sleep. I did manage to get sleep kind of in at the end there with the pajama theme there. It's fun to share parenting hacks. And yeah, I really wish that I had known those hacks way, way earlier on in my parenting journey. So on that note.
Let's dive into some parent questions about sleep and settling. There's a bunch today. What have we got? I think we've got about seven, maybe eight questions. Eight questions. Cool. and I was just looking through them and thinking, these are really, really good ones. So let's jump in. And don't forget if you're a Sombelle member and you've got a question for the podcast, email it through to us and we can be discussing it next week.
you'll get an answer to your question. first up we have Bridget. Bridget says says, I have a 13-month-old who has been co-sleeping in our bed since two months old.
He's currently fed to sleep and wakes six or seven times per night to breastfeed. Bridget says, I am exhausted and am well ready for him to sleep independently in his own cot and to wean the night feeds. She says, we have a good daily sleep pattern. There's one nap of an hour and a half total. He goes to bed at 8 p.m. and wakes up at 6 30 a.m.
And she says, I think we're meeting his sleep needs, but she's currently doing a sleep diary again just to check, which is an awesome idea, Bridget. Good job. Bridget says, I'm just wondering where to start with the cot settling. Should I night wean first in my bed and then work on cot settling, or settle in the cot but continue to feed as needed? Or do I do both at once? This is such a great question, Bridget. And this is something I work through with parents all the time, trying to work out which approach is going to be the better one for them.
Look, generally I say when they're just over that 12-month mark, I feel like it's easiest to drop the overnight feeds before you work on independent settling in the cot. some parents are just like, no, no, no, no way. I'm doing it the other way around, and that's fine too. But I feel like if we first we just focus on dropping the night feeds, you can settle your child any way you want to during that time. You're not sort of trying to work on cot settling when they're already pretty cranky that they're not being fed.
So that means that you can rock and shush and pat or walk or bounce or do whatever you want to do to get them to sleep. Give them all the comfort in the world while they adjust to not having night feeds. And it doesn't mean you have to drop all the feeds at once. You could just drop one feed every few nights and space out the rest. and that's another thing to think about because some parents will say, no, my toddler gets really furious if I try and
you know, to offer some feeds and not others. And it's just easier just to drop all the feeds and give them lots of support to work through that, offer a sippy cup of water. if you're worried about thirst, they will probably throw that sippy cup right back at you. but you can offer. but yeah, look, I would say I would work on weaning all the night feeds first, then work on the cot settling when you feel like you're past that hurdle.
But I would also be thinking about the setup because if you're still lying in bed right beside your toddler and you're refusing to feed, sometimes they find that incredibly upsetting and it's just really hard to make progress. if you've got a partner who can share the bed with them and you sleep elsewhere for those few nights while they're adapting, that can work really, really well. and then it might mean that you're able to bank a bit of sleep yourself before you go in to do the work of
that independence settling in the cot maybe in a week or or two time from from now. So I hope that helps Bridget and good luck. It's tough, but really once the night feeds are out of the way, everything is gonna feel a whole lot easier. and good on you for knowing that yeah, it's the right step 'cause you've you've really got to look after yourself and it sounds like you're really exhausted. it's a lot of night waking and that's gone on for a really long time. So good luck.
Alright, our second question is from Jay. Jay's 12 month-old has recently transitioned to one nap after around three weeks of split nights lasting one to three hours. Whew. there's also been increasing difficulty with this second nap and multiple failed overnight cot transfers. it sounds so painful, Jay. Jay says his current rhythm is roughly a 6 15 to 6 30am wake up.
At about 11.40 they have a nap and they're in bed at about 7.45 to 8 p.m. and Jay mentions that their child is able to stay awake for about four and a half to five hours at a time in the daytime. So based on five weeks of sleep data, Jay estimates her son's need, her sleep need is now around 11 and a half hours, with typically no more than nine and a half hours of sleep overnight. Since moving to one nap,
Naps have been one and a half to two hours, but nights remain disrupted with only seven and a half to eight and a half hours of actual sleep and one to two wakes, sometimes involving prolonged settling and failed COT transfers. Teething has also been a significant factor, and it's reduced his daytime milk and food intake, which has led to larger overnight catch-up feeds at around 3 to 4 am. He's currently settled drowsy in his mother's arms before being transferred to the COT.
with a dummy and occasional bum taps. Jay is concerned about the ongoing low overnight sleep, sleep debt, and her son becoming overtired and dysregulated. She's wondering whether to first focus on stabilizing the one nap rhythm and allow an extra 45 to 60 minutes of overnight sleep opportunity to account for the wake up to feed before addressing the night feed and settling.
Or whether these should be tackled sooner. Alright, this is a really, you know, a really interesting situation. You've got there, Jay, with your 12-month-old. The thing that jumps out at me first is that you're currently allowing about 12 and a half hours total sleep opportunity across the nap and the night, but he's only averaging about 11 and a half hours. So this might be why the split nights are continuing.
that you there's just a bit too much sleep opportunity and so that your child's just more likely to spend an hour or two awake during the night. So an easy tweak could be to aim for maybe an hour and a half maximum total day sleep and then maybe it's an eight PM bedtime and six AM wake up. That might be what's needed to just really bump up that sleep drive so that they're really ready for you to take the next steps. Also on the teething as well, use pain relief to address the teething so that you can
confidently reduce the overnight milk feed because you know that he's comfortable enough in the day to be able to get the daytime calories. That'll help just to push more calories into his day rather than him taking them overnight. So what I tend to do is I'd probably work on that new daily rhythm for a few days to a week and then that's really going to ensure that sleep pressure overnight is really, really high. And that's when I dive into settling in the cot and starting to reduce the overnight milk intake as well.
just because he's drowsy when he's put down. And so when babies, or in your case a toddler, when a toddler wakes up overnight and they're wide awake, they're still gonna need your help to get drowsy and then be transferred to the cot. So what we ideally want is for your toddler to master being put into the cot awake and knowing exactly how to get to sleep. but what I would do is I'd optimize that sleep pressure with the daily rhythm, then work on settling in the cot and weaning.
Down the night feeds. So you might gradually reduce overnight milk feeds, for example. And the reason I say that is that given what you described, Jay, it sounds like you have a toddler where you definitely need to work on those three factors all at once to see progress. It sounds like just working on sleep pressure probably won't be enough. You'll actually have to do that work of settling in the cot to really start to see it come together.
but yeah, absolutely on the right track. And if you yeah, if you need one-on-one support, please reach out because it does sound like a tricky situation and a coaching
call may be helpful. Awesome. Good luck, Jay. Pav has written in again. We heard from Pav in our last episode. Pav's been trialing a 45 minute nap for just over two weeks, successfully settling her toddler into a 7am wake-up.
A 12.15 pm nap and a 7.45 pm bedtime. Awesome. Her toddler was falling asleep within 5 to 20 minutes for both naps and bedtime, with Pav waking him from both. After a random 5.30 a.m. wake and some increased crankiness, she extended his nap to 1 hour 15 minutes, which initially seemed helpful, but over several days he began taking longer to settle and his tired signs disappeared.
She has since reduced the nap to one hour, but he is still taking about 30 minutes to fall asleep at bedtime and does not appear tired when put down. Pav is wondering how long to trial the one hour nap before returning to 45 minutes, whether a 30 minute bedtime settling time is acceptable, whether an early morning wake should be compensated for with a longer nap, and whether needing to wake him in the morning and from his nap indicates that he needs more sleep.
Awesome. Look, Pav, I think you've you've done some great investigating. You've done a bit of trial and error and you've you've got all the evidence you need. His sleep was fantastic on a 45 minute nap. You were seeing tired signs and he was falling asleep within 20 minutes for his nap and bedtime. that that's perfect. You've really hit the nail on the head there. and I would probably just return to that. Some some children are just so sensitive to variability.
you know, a little bit of an extra long day nap and we really just feel it, you know, across several nights even. So given that, you know, you've added an extra bit of time to that nap and now it's taking 30 minutes for him to fall asleep at bedtime, I mean, it kind of answers that question. I think that it is just a bit too much sleep for his nap. And I would return to what worked really well. Generally when we make a change to the daily rhythm, I say stick to it for a full week to see how they adapt and if they can manage it.
but even if you've been doing it for a few days and you're starting to think, hmm, this clearly does not work, then you know you've got enough evidence to confidently go back to that prior rhythm. in regards to whether a 30-minute time for settling is acceptable, I'd say no. I tend to say 20 minutes max. If it's taking more than 20 minutes to fall asleep.
then they're not tired enough for it. So I would be saying, you know, push bedtime later to the time when they actually are falling asleep. spending a lot of time in the cot not sleeping starts to erode that association between going into the cot and falling asleep. And that can end you up in tricky territory. So I'd definitely go back to the daily rhythm where he was falling asleep in under twenty minutes. Pav also asked about whether the early morning wake up should be compensated for with a longer nap. Absolutely not. Don't
Don't do it. when when they wake up really early and then we go, let them catch up with a longer nap, we're essentially saying to the circadian rhythm, cool, wake up really early whenever you want, because we can we can figure it out later. We'll do an extra longer nap or maybe an early bedtime. And that's going to encourage the circadian rhythm to keep doing that. So if your baby or toddler wakes early in the morning, keep the daily rhythm as close to on track as you possibly can.
And then it's really unlikely to happen again. Whereas if you do introduce extra sleep opportunity, it will probably keep happening. yeah, and Pav also asked, does needing to wake him up in the morning and from his nap mean he needs more sleep? no, because what happens when you do that, Pav, by the sounds of it, is he falls asleep quicker at night time. So it's not meaning that we're giving him less sleep than he needs. We know that by waking him up on time in the morning.
in capping his nap, it ensures he falls asleep quickly and has a great night. So and he's also a really happy toddler. I know you mentioned that as well. He's he's active and he's great. He's not not showing tired signs and crankiness. so you know, yeah absolutely you know you're you're on the right track. He's getting enough sleep. so well done Pav. You're doing a fantastic job. And I think those are questions I answer quite a lot. So it's a great, great one that you've you've asked for the podcast. I'm sure other parents will
Like hearing that answer too. Okay, Gemma emailed in. Gemma started the supported accelerated approach three weeks ago and has had good success with her daughter now falling asleep independently within five to ten minutes, usually with one check-in, or sometimes she just doesn't even need any check-ins at all. But Gemma says she continues to cry for the first few minutes before settling herself to sleep.
Gemma's concerned that the crying has continued despite three weeks of practice and is wondering how long she should expect this to last as she had hoped it would reduce or stop after the first week or two. Gemma, I feel so sorry for you. It's really, really hard. It sounds like you're you're doing everything right. And most babies will you know, really settle down. They sort of settle into this rhythm, they know what to expect at bedtime, and they're cool with it.
But there are some babies who, no matter what the transition, they just get really cranky about it. The the falling asleep makes them cranky. Sometimes waking up makes them cranky. Sometimes it's, you know, getting put in the high chair makes them cranky. Like for some babies, they just struggle a little bit with those transitions. And it takes them quite a long time to really start to settle into it. The best thing you can do is just keep being really consistent because that consistency of your actions and how you settle is
tremendously reassuring to your baby. They really realize, okay, it doesn't matter if I'm upset, mum or my other caregiver, they're always here. They always support me and I know exactly what they're going to do each time until I'm asleep. So keep up that repetition, I guess, and that consistency with your approach because that is the fastest way to reduce that crying at sleep time.
Look, I think that's the best advice I can give you, Gemma. Some babies just take a r a long time to be really happy going off to sleep. And look, I dare say some some babies turn into toddlers and then into children who just are c are cranky at bedtime. They don't really want to, you know, slow down and switch off and they just like to protest it. But everybody, all the listeners, we're all keeping our fingers across, Gemma, that your baby really starts to starts to calm down and enjoy bedtime soon.
Okay, awesome. So next question is from Sophie. Sophie has recently joined Sombelle and has already seen improvement in her four month-old daughter's night waking after dropping to three naps and increasing the wake windows to build sleep pressure. that's awesome, Sophie. Well done. Sophie says her daughter has a 14 hour sleep need, currently sleeps from around 7 15 p.m. to six fifteen a.m. and has two 30-minute overnight feeds at 12 30 a.m. and 4 a.m.
Despite previously managing with just one feed. Sophie's daughter has three daytime naps, an hour and a half, and then another hour and a half at around midday, and then 45 minutes later in the day. She often wakes around 10 pm after only a two and a half to three hour initial sleep block, while her longest stretch is currently between the two overnight feeds. She also wakes around 5:30 a.m. and needs help to resettle into another sleep cycle.
Sophie is wondering whether there are any remaining schedule or sleep pressure adjustments she should make before starting cot settling next week, or whether the remaining wakes are primarily due to her daughter not yet self-settling independently. this is such a great question, Sophie. Like it's so important to be thinking about like the right order to do things in to make things as easy as possible. And I love that you're really thinking about making sure the daily rhythm is totally, you know, on point and
And really working well for your daughter so that you have an easier time with the cot settling. So when we think about that daily rhythm you've mentioned, Sophie, it's allowing for about 14 and a half hours sleep opportunity, which is close enough to the 14-hour sleep need that you've described. And that extra half hour is just allowing time for a couple of night feeds. So I think it sounds about right, and you should be okay to get started with the cot settling.
It is only two and a half to three hours of sleep at the beginning of the night, but that's still a longer stretch at the start of the night, which makes me think that the daily rhythm probably is sort of functioning okay. It sounds like in the early hours of the morning, around 5.30, she's needing some help to resettle. Sleep pressure's getting pretty low at that point. So I would just keep an eye on the sleep pressure, keep an eye on the total sleep average because she is at an age where it can drop off really quickly.
but I think you've you've probably got all your ducks in a row now, Sophie. And it's just a case of deciding
what night you're gonna work on the cot settling and then going all in, knowing that you've done that preparatory work on the daily rhythm first, and it's hopefully gonna help you have a really easy time of things and and hopefully your daughter will adapt really quickly. so good luck. Let us know how you go, Sophie. I've got everything crossed that it it goes beautifully for you and you'll
Be getting some longer stretches and look, she probably will go back to one overnight feed all on her own accord. yeah, I've got everything crossed for you. Good luck. Alright, question number six is from Abby. Abby has an 11 and a half week old boy and is still completing his sleep diary, but it appears he has a high sleep need of around 15 or more hours per 24 hours.
He currently has around three naps with a long morning nap of up to three hours, a one hour nap, and a shorter afternoon nap of 30 to 45 minutes. He usually sleeps from around 6.30 or 7 p.m. and then wakes for the day somewhere between 5.30 and 7.30 a.m. with some early morning waking and resettling before starting the day. He sleeps in a snoo and settles relatively easily with shushing, a dummy, and white noise.
Until recently all naps were in a carrier, but Abby has now been able to get him to nap in the snoo. that must be a relief, Abby, to not have to always have him in the carrier for naps to be able to get some hands free time for yourself. However, Abby says he generally wakes after thirty to forty five minutes in the snoo and needs significant shushing to resettle, rarely achieving the longer naps he can manage in the carrier.
When he wakes after a short nap, he's often upset and grumpy, so Abby transfers him to the carrier to extend the sleep. She is wondering how she can encourage longer daytime naps in the snoo, whether transferring him to the carrier after a short nap is inhibiting his progress, and whether she should be working on longer cot naps despite the challenging days. She'd also like guidance on the snoo and whether she should begin weaning him off it sooner rather than later. another awesome set of questions.
Okay, so if you want to encourage longer daytime naps in the snoo, it's really just going to come down to practice. So I think choose a time of day where you think you're more likely to have success. It's probably going to be the first nap of the day, the longer one. it's probably when sleep pressure could be that bit higher, and that's why he's having his longer nap at that time. You might decide, okay, just for the first nap of the day, I am going to persist with resettling in the snoo if he wakes after a sleep cycle. We know he knows how to settle to sleep there.
and he might prefer to be picked up and held. But if it's really a goal of yours to try and get him doing some longer naps in the snow, then it's just gonna come down to that practice. But if you decide on just one nap when you're gonna consistently try, that can feel less overwhelming than thinking, my gosh, I've got to do every single nap in the snow all day, every day. so start with just one nap per day that you can manage and as that gets a bit easier, increase it and do it at other naps as well. If you're in a massive hurry, of course you can
Do it for every single nap. He'll probably adapt quicker, but it sounds like you're having some tricky days and it could be a struggle to do that. You also asked about whether transferring him to the carrier after a short nap is inhibiting his progress. Look, I think he's at an age, like if he was an older baby, I'd say, yeah, that's gonna confuse that baby a lot. They're gonna think, great, so if I just wake up and cry a lot, I'll get to have this lovely carrier nap. and that can be really tricky.
so no, I think you're surviving at the moment, Abby. There are times when he's waking up cranky and you probably don't have a lot in the tank to persist with a resettle in the snoo. and putting him in the carrier probably just means you can get on with your day. And that's looking after yourself and doing what's manageable. So there's nothing wrong with that. I think it's a case of just deciding when you really want to go and work really hard on the snoo settling and then yeah, deciding which nap it's gonna be that you keep practicing for.
and it you know, think about what supports you need around you to get through this too. You could time some of the work on the settling in the snoo for when you've got family staying who can help you out or yeah, just think about your circumstances and when the best time is to do it. and yeah, you ask for guidance about the snoo in general and when you should begin weaning him from it. I wouldn't focus on that right now. I think
It's really easy to think too far ahead and that can feel really overwhelming as well. for now just think, okay, my goal is to have him taking his naps in the snoo. There might be some days where it doesn't go that well, but it doesn't matter. Like don't stress too much. Just practice getting him settled in the snoo because the snoo ha I've never used one, but I've heard so many stories about them. I could probably write the user manual at this point. but with the snoo, you can gradually phase out the movement and the white noise and
can phase out the swaddle and that sort of thing as well. So those are are things that you can worry about later on. And the snoo kind of going to walk you through that anyway. and yeah it's a great idea to eventually wean him off it but I just wouldn't be too worried at this point. It might be something you start to think about at maybe four months of age. certainly if he's starting to show signs of rolling that's when you would yeah speed up your work on on phasing out the snow.
So I hope that helps. We do get a lot of questions about the SNOO actually, maybe more in the clinic than on the podcast. there are lots of parents using the SNO. maybe I sh should I do an episode on the SNO? Dunno. Let me know if you think I should. or maybe just other sleep products that you're trying to wean off. We could do a bit of a deep dive into some strategies.
Alright, question number seven is from Cassie. Cassie's son was sleeping around 10 and three quarter hours per 24 hours at six months of age, so quite low sleep needs. This increased to around 11 to 11 and a quarter hours by eight months, and he's now almost 11 months old. And after being sick about three weeks ago, Cassie relaxed his usual routine. And since then, he's consistently been sleeping about 12 hours per 24 hours across the past two weeks.
So Cassie is wondering whether sleep needs can increase temporarily or over time, and whether this change is normal, given that sleep needs are generally expected to decrease as babies get older. So glad you brought this up, Cassie. So, in general, most babies have a drop in sleep needs over time, but that doesn't mean every single baby will. So that's why all of our advice in Sombelle, and we say this to every case in the clinic as well.
Even if you're having, you know, you've got a great daily rhythm, it's all going beautifully. Definitely try adding more sleep back into that daily rhythm every now and then just to see if your baby or your toddler can manage it. So there was a great study done a few years ago, and if I'd done more preparation before this episode, I could have pulled it up and talked a bit more about it. But most babies have this follow a pathway of their sleep needs declining over time. But there's a small portion of babies, I think it might have been around 15% or so.
where their sleep needs can start low and then gradually increase across that first year. There's no reason to think that anything is wrong at all. we don't really fully understand why sleep needs can change like that. but all of the advice we give is always to look at what they're currently averaging and cater to that. But over time, do trial adding a bit more back in, because for some babies and toddlers they actually will manage a little bit more sleep, especially if they're mastering self-settling and
Maybe they've entered the toddler years and they're getting really, really busy and active. sometimes that seems to increase sleep a little bit. Not a lot, but a little bit for some babies and toddlers. So yeah, another actually really relevant and really important question. thanks for sending that in, Cassie. All right, and lucky last is from Claire. Claire's 11-week old has an estimated sleep need of around 16 hours and is sleeping well overnight.
Waking two to three times briefly and settling easily with a feed. However, daytime sleep has become increasingly challenging over the past three weeks. He often wakes after only a few minutes to 40 minutes when sleeping in the pram, car, cot, or carrier, and usually wakes tired and cranky, requiring frequent resettling. His wake windows shorten as the day progresses.
And although naps tend to become slightly longer later in the day, the settling process is exhausting. The only way Claire can currently achieve a long daytime nap is by holding him on the couch where he can sleep for two to four hours, followed by another two short naps because he struggles to stay awake for more than one to one and a half hours. This approach, Claire thinks, might be contributing to an additional night wake and more early morning bum patting.
But Claire feels it is preferable to having him cranky from constant short naps. She's started increasing cot settling practice to reduce contact sleep and help with the next stage of settling. and to help with the next stage of settling. And a dummy has also been helpful. Claire says things are slowly improving with naps reducing from eight or nine per day down to five in recent times.
Claire is wondering whether there are any other strategies she can try, whether she simply needs to wait for this developmental stage to pass, and whether she should exclusively cot settle for now, despite the practical challenge of doing this across so many naps. this is a brilliant question. You guys send in absolute rippers, and Claire, your situation sounds somewhat similar to Abby's as well. You've both got babies the same age and somewhat similar problems.
first up, I would say well done on reducing the naps from eight or nine per day down to five. That is a really positive
move in the right direction. your baby's right at this age where their sleep cycles are really maturing. So they're going from sleep that involves two phases, like a light and a deep sort of phase, an active and a deep phase, to now developing.
sleep cycles where they're a bit more adult-like. So they start sleep by going straight into the deeper stages of sleep and then they slowly cycle up into the light sleep and then back into deep sleep and so on. So when they're waking after only a few minutes, that is when they are entering sleep. They've got the more immature sleep cycles. They're entering sleep during that sort of active lighter sleep. And it means that they can be really hard to transfer during that phase. They can wake pretty easily.
so I would say at 11 weeks, your baby is just about to go through this big maturation of their sleep cycles, and that's when you might find that things just come together all of a sudden, and it all starts to feel a lot easier. In terms of what else you can try, I think you're on track with like I would definitely try and keep it to five naps maximum per day at this point. Really work to keep that on track. you
Should you go all in on COT settling? Look, I would be tempted if you feel like it's so similar to Abby in a way. Like I think you've got to think about your capacity. You've still got a really young baby. So you could just go, you know what, I'm so tired. I actually just want to do all COT settling for a few days. I know they're going to adapt to it. I'm going to give them all the support in the world to make that transition because that's going to get us where we need to be quickly. And it's going to mean that you get a bit more rest yourself, Claire.
But then there'll be other parents who are just like, mm-mm, that's overwhelming and I can't do it. And then in that case, I'd suggest what I suggested for Abby, which is just pick a nap or two or three, whatever you want to do. But those are the naps each day where you just keep persisting at the cot settling see getting that consistent practice in. so I hope I hope that helps you, Claire. It is it's a really tricky age and it does all start to feel a lot more
I guess a bit more predictable over the next month or so. yeah, so hopefully that gives you something to consider. I think, yeah, you're really moving in the right direction, Claire. both Claire and Abby, I think it's just about making that call on, yep, today's the day I'm gonna dive into cot settling or I'm just gonna do it for one nap and see how it goes and then just slowly build up to doing more naps in the cot as you feel able.
Well, they were awesome questions and thank you to those who sent them in because you all did a really great job of sending me through questions that were fairly succinct. it it makes them perfectly well suited to the podcast, which is fantastic. If you're a Sombelle member and you want to submit a question,
Absolutely do it and do try and imagine you're sort of like reading it out and how long you'd want it to be. Try and keep it to sort of one to two minutes you know maximum so that we can really make sure we get to it. If something's really, really complicated or you feel like you need to include a lot of detail in your question, it's probably going to be best suited to a coaching call so that we can sit down together and really do the full assessment, come up with exactly what the sleep plan needs to be, and then you can just hit the ground running and
Get it done. So keep that in mind. If it's a big complicated question, a coaching call may very well be worth it. So that's us wrapped up for another week. Have you left us a review yet? If you haven't, please do it right now. Just pick up your phone, whatever app you're in, please tap the five-star review thingy. It helps us so much. It means we reach more tired parents and that's always great. Word of mouth is so, so helpful for us.
or just send this link to a friend. Maybe you've got a friend who's like staring down book week panicking about a costume, and you can just flick them through this link and they'll, you know, be searching for those red shoes in the back of the cupboard or an acubra you know, grandpa or something like that. Anyway, this has been fun. I've really liked diving into something a bit different for our weekly topic. And please send me through photos of your very cute.
Book week costumes. I would love, love, love to see them. If you're needing extra support and you're not already a Sombelle member, go and check it out or book an
appointment and we can start working together. And don't forget to search our new parent question index because there is a lot of amazing content already in existence and it might even address the exact sleep and settling problem you're having at the moment. All right, take care of yourself and I'll see you next time.
