Dr Fallon (00:38)
When I bought my second born baby home, my goodness, was it a massive adjustment. I don't think I quite knew what had hit me, Laura. It was just such a big change to go through managing a toddler who, you know, he's feeling a little bit funny about this new person in their life. And then having that challenge of juggling, you know, challenging toddler behaviors, but also the, you know, very, um,
Dr Laura (00:47)
Mm -hmm.
Dr Fallon (01:03)
competing demands of a little tiny baby who needs, you know, constant love and support. It is such a big change to make. And that's what we're going to dive into today on this episode of Brand New Little People. I'm your host, Dr. Fallon Cook, and I'm here with Dr. Laura Conway. How are you going, Laura?
Dr Laura (01:05)
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm good. Thanks, Fallon. I just want to say sorry for my husky voice. I'm a little bit unwell at the moment, but I'm going to be doing my best today to answer these wonderful questions that have come through. And I hope that my voice lasts. How are you going, Fallon?
Dr Fallon (01:26)
Oh, yep.
Oh, look, it's the same here. I had a cold a few weeks ago and I've just had this cough that has hung around and I'm still, yeah, I'm still coughing. I'll probably cough in the middle of the podcast like I have done the last two times. And now I've got my teenager on the couch in the living room who's got a new cold. So I'm like, great, we can all enjoy that one next. So never ends, never, never ends. But yeah, we had a great email come through from Tash Laura and she's...
Dr Laura (01:49)
Ha ha ha ha!
Oh no. Oh joy.
Mm -hmm.
Dr Fallon (02:07)
really in that incredibly busy and demanding time where she's brought home a newborn baby who was born about three weeks early. And she's trying to kind of, I suppose, fall into a bit of a pattern of managing her toddler's needs, but also the needs of a very small baby. And of course, when babies are born early, they often wake even more than newborns. So even though her baby's been here for three weeks, it's now only the age of a newborn. So.
Dr Laura (02:11)
Mm.
Mm -hmm.
Yes.
Yes.
Dr Fallon (02:34)
It just means that the frequent night wakes and, um, you know, the constant settling and feeding it's really amplified, um, for families who have a baby who's born that bit, bit earlier. And I thought, well, maybe, I mean, it's not just me and it's not just Tash. I think so many parents report that they really struggled when they went from one baby to two. Um, and I thought, let's have a bit of a brainstorm. What are some of the things that are really helpful in managing that transition?
Dr Laura (02:43)
Yeah.
Mmm.
Yes.
Dr Fallon (03:04)
What did you find Laura? What helped you?
Dr Laura (03:07)
I found it really helpful to become comfortable and confident in knowing it was okay to put my little baby down into his bassinet whilst I was looking after the toddler. It's such a different ball game when you have that toddler running around. It's not like when you brought your first baby home and you can just totally focus on that baby and get everything, all your ducks in a row before you sit down for a feed.
and get your glass of water, get your phone, get your TV remote or your book and all of those things. Once you've already got a toddler and you have a little baby that needs to be fed, you just can't be, you don't have that luxury anymore. And knowing that actually it's absolutely fine to put your little baby into their bassinet or cot whilst you look after the needs of the toddler, keep your toddler safe.
Dr Fallon (03:37)
Hmm.
Hehehe
Dr Laura (04:04)
And knowing that that's appropriate and an okay thing to do. I found that really helpful when I was in that position. And also you can wear your baby in a carrier so that you have both your hands free so that you can be looking up running after your toddler, picking them up if they've got themselves stuck somewhere. And knowing that that's absolutely fine.
Dr Fallon (04:05)
Mmm.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah, I think that's such a good point Laura, because we just don't know what's going to happen next when you've got a toddler and a baby. And it's so important to be able to keep your toddler safe because we know toddlers can get themselves into trouble pretty quickly, especially the very curious ones. So being able to have your hands free is really great. But for some parents, it feels difficult because with their first baby, they might've gone into parenting with the idea that they will always pick their baby up as soon as they cry. Like most parents are like that, right? Pretty, pretty normal and standard.
Dr Laura (04:59)
Mm -hmm. Hmm.
Dr Fallon (05:02)
And then suddenly when you've got two, you're like, hang on, I can't always do that, you know, and you can feel a lot of guilt like, oh my gosh, my first baby, I picked them up straight away. I always had them with me, but my second baby is kind of getting less of my attention because I'm trying to juggle the two. And I think as parents, when we let go of that, um, that guilt around that, it's really normal that babies have to kind of fit in amongst the family dynamic. And sometimes it means they do have to wait a little bit longer for your attention, but.
Dr Laura (05:04)
You
Mm -hmm.
Dr Fallon (05:30)
That's okay. It's the same for every family and every second, third, fourth born or particularly in the case of multiples actually. Yeah, that multiples always have to wait, you know, a couple of minutes before they get the attention that they need. So it's okay.
Dr Laura (05:31)
Yeah.
Yes!
Yeah, absolutely. And as we were describing the situation, it was making me think of the appointments that we have and the talks that we do for the different multiple birth association groups, that a lot of the time when you're a parent of multiples, you're already on the front foot because your multiples simply have to learn that they have to wait a few minutes before they're picked up because you're only one person. You can't pick them all up.
Dr Fallon (06:07)
Mmm.
You can't. Yeah, you can't do everything at the same time. Yeah.
Dr Laura (06:13)
Yeah, exactly. So yeah, having that confidence when you're in the position that Tash is now in, and knowing that it's actually okay, your little baby is going to be okay if they have to wait a little bit longer than your firstborn did, just because you're only one person. And just have that confidence and know that it's okay to put your baby down in the cot when you're
Dr Fallon (06:25)
Yes.
Yes.
Dr Laura (06:40)
hands are full and your attention has been taken by your toddler. Yeah, what other tips do you have, Fallon?
Dr Fallon (06:43)
Hmm. Yeah, definitely. I think one of my favorite ones is, you know, I know for my first two, my eldest had a lot of jealousy over the new baby because it, he'd never had, you know, to share my attention with anyone. Um, and so one of the things I found really helpful was once you're going okay with feeding, um, you know, making that feeding time for the baby also special for the toddler. So it might be that.
Dr Laura (07:00)
Yeah.
Mmm.
Dr Fallon (07:13)
Um, when you feed the baby, you can say, Hey, it's time for us to have a bit of special time too. Let's watch that episode of Bluey or whatever show they're loving at the moment. Have them snuggle in beside you and you can talk to them about, Oh, why did that happen? Um, what do you think is going to happen next? So it's, you've got that shared attention on the show. Um, your older child's thinking, this is great. I love it when mom feeds the baby or dad, you know, might be feeding the baby too. Um, because that.
Dr Laura (07:27)
Yes.
Dr Fallon (07:38)
creates that special close time, or it might be a book if you're really confident with how feeding's going and you can manage to juggle a book or your toddler can hold the book, you can still create those moments of connection and that can really reduce that sibling jealousy that can pop up. So that's definitely a favorite one for me. But I think for so many families, put them in the pram, get out and about. It's often the easiest way to do it. If your toddler can go on a little glider bike or...
Dr Laura (07:44)
Yes.
Mmm.
Yes.
Dr Fallon (08:04)
Maybe they love writing in the prayer ham. Get them both out and about. And just being on the move can often be an easy way to settle a baby. It gets you a bit of fresh air and your toddler's burning off some energy too.
Dr Laura (08:14)
Yes. Yeah, yeah. And thinking about taking yourself, if the weather's horrible or, you know, it's too hot or too cold, go into a shopping centre. And yeah.
Dr Fallon (08:27)
Yeah. Love shopping centers. When I had kids, I really realized how great shopping centers are. There's parking, there's change facilities. You can wander and wander and yeah, brilliant.
Dr Laura (08:35)
Yes!
Yes. And I once made a friend a little play area at the local shopping centre. We were both there, nursing a cup of coffee each with our little babies in carriers, whilst our toddlers were in the little playground there at the centre. So they were happy climbing around, they made friends with each other in the climbing frame in the shopping centre.
Dr Fallon (08:49)
Hehehehe
Mmm.
Dr Laura (09:09)
And I just got chatting to the mum beside me as we swayed with our babies in the carry and drank our coffee. And it was a really nice connection. And I think that can be a really lovely thing to do, particularly if you are lacking family support or social support. Thinking about...
Dr Fallon (09:14)
Oh, that's lovely.
Yes.
Yeah. And often, yeah, sorry, when babies are really little, you often don't have your parent group yet either. So you might be waiting for that to get started. So if you don't have a parent group around you, then yeah, go to places where there will be other parents and you might find your people, your tribe. Play centers are a good one too. Look at which ones have a really good and secure toddler play area. So you're not having to run, you know, from one end to the other. But that can just be a great.
Dr Laura (09:36)
Yes.
Yeah. Yeah.
Dr Fallon (09:56)
space for your toddler to burn off energy and you can just sit there, feed, go to ground, whatever you need to do. And if your baby's crying, no one cares. Those places are noisy. Same with shopping centers. If your baby is having a big cry and they're really difficult to settle, sometimes having the noise of a shopping center or a play center around a baby, they actually find that really soothing. And often they will settle down more easily than if you're at home and it's really quiet. So yeah, definitely.
Dr Laura (10:05)
Yeah.
Mmm.
Yes.
Dr Fallon (10:25)
Yeah, get out and about when you feel up to it. Going back to Tasha's question, she does mention in her email that she's having some difficulties with feeding the baby, which is making things really hard. So of course, have a chat to your health nurse or a lactation consultant for support with feeding. That's really important to do. And Tash wondered when's the right time for a coaching call. Really any time. I'm really happy to see you. Even if your baby's really tiny, we can talk through how things are going.
Dr Laura (10:50)
Mm -hmm.
Dr Fallon (10:52)
Some different strategies you could try in managing your new baby with a toddler or if your new baby is very unsettled, some different settling approaches, or if you're wanting them to be able to settle in their cot, we can talk about that as well. I had a question the other day actually from someone saying, at what age can we start to settle our babies in a cot? And I was like, any age, even really tiny babies. We can start practicing it. It doesn't mean we have to only settle them in the cot.
Dr Laura (11:18)
Yes.
Dr Fallon (11:18)
But even newborn babies, like I know with mine, I just couldn't hold a baby all the time. So I would put them down to fall asleep sometimes. And then the cot just sort of remained familiar. So it's fine to start practicing that even when they're quite small.
Dr Laura (11:28)
Yeah, yeah. And I think it's always good for parents to realise that settling your baby in the cot, popping your baby in the cot isn't the same as sleep training. You know, you can when your baby's really little, when of course, we're not going to be doing anything really full on with settling a very little baby in the cot in terms of what intervention you would use. But
Dr Fallon (11:41)
Yeah.
Mmm.
Dr Laura (11:56)
popping your little baby down into the cup before they're asleep is absolutely fine. It's okay to do it. Yep.
Dr Fallon (12:01)
Yeah, it really is. And your baby's just learning, oh, okay, this is another place where I might be sometimes and it's fine. They're just realizing this is a normal place to be. And often that is important when you've got older children. It can be hard if your baby thinks the cot is some horrible place and they freak out every time they go near it. Often in the early days, if you can do a little bit of practice, it might even just be when they're happily awake, you pop them down briefly in their cot while you help your toddler with something and then you pick them up again.
Dr Laura (12:29)
Yes.
Dr Fallon (12:29)
And what that's showing them is the cot's fine. I might get put down there, but mum or dad always comes back and yeah. So little, little moments of practice are fine.
Dr Laura (12:36)
Yeah, yeah. So good luck, Tash. You might also find that as your baby gets a little bit older, you might start to see a little bit of an overlap with your little baby's sleep and your toddler's sleep, like in terms of day naps. But I always caution parents not to go in with that being the aim. Your babies can have, your baby and toddler can have completely different sleep needs from each other.
Dr Fallon (12:51)
Hmm.
Dr Laura (13:03)
and one might be a catnapper and the other one has a higher sleep need and needs a lot of sleep during the day. But you never know, as they get a bit older, you might have some overlap and you get to have an hour or so to yourself with both the baby and the toddler asleep during the day.
Dr Fallon (13:04)
Yeah.
Mm.
Yeah. Yeah. And just know that you will find your feet, even though right now you're probably thinking, how on earth do I do this? It's impossible. Like how, how can I do it? I was there, Laura was there. Every, every pediatrician who's had a kid has been there. You know, like we all have that moment where we just think, what have we done? This is impossible. But you will find your feet over those next few months. You'll start to get a little bit of a pattern happening and your confidence will build. Um, and it will feel more manageable. So.
Dr Laura (13:31)
yet.
Yeah.
Dr Fallon (13:49)
Yeah. Good luck, Tash. Laura, we also had another question from another Laura, who wants to know about transitioning from two to one naps. When, when do we typically suggest we do that? How do we do it? And I think we could have a quick discussion of that, but I just wanted to point out there is a chapter called toddler sleep patterns in the toddler program that really dives into naps, when to drop them and there's instructions on how.
Dr Laura (13:50)
Mmm.
Hehehe.
Mm -hmm.
Dr Fallon (14:15)
to drop a nap as well, whether you sort of gradually let it go or you make one big change at a time. But I mean, typically we sort of say, Laura, don't we, from about 12 months of age to, oh, look, usually around 14, 15 months. I think most toddlers are ready just for the one nap. But my kind of golden rule is if you have a toddler who's over 12 months of age and there is anything wrong with their nighttime sleep, like...
Dr Laura (14:29)
Hmm.
Dr Fallon (14:39)
they're waking up really early in the morning or they're waking really frequently overnight or having long wakes at night, drop down to one nap. It's just time to do it. And it might not feel like it's time, but often when parents push through a few days, they fall into a rhythm and they push more of their sleep into the night. What other tips would you have for parents?
Dr Laura (14:56)
Yeah, yeah, I would be thinking not to...
Not to be worried about dropping down to one nap. It does feel like a major step in your baby and toddler sleep to move down to one nap. But what we know is that it can feel overwhelming and you can think, how on earth can I move my toddler to one nap when they're really not coping on the two? And you think, well, they're just tired all the time. They're tired, I can't stretch them.
later for that first nap and then they're really grumpy in the afternoon. The reason that's happening is that their nights are normally quite fragmented. So we need to move them to that one nap and then you'll find say that they were having two one hour naps, then they're on one two hour nap. And actually that's really lovely long stretch of sleep for them. And then it's a couple of rocky days where you're pushing them to stay awake a little bit longer before they go down for that nap.
Dr Fallon (15:39)
Mmm.
Dr Laura (15:59)
And then they're learning what it feels like to be awake for longer before bed. They very quickly get used to it because they're having that one nice longer nap in the middle of the day that's a little bit more restorative than the two shorter naps that they were having and then the broken night's sleep. Yeah, so it normally turns around pretty quickly, Laura. So if you are seeing that your child's nighttime sleep is really impacted at the moment, they're over 12 months of age, then
Dr Fallon (16:10)
Mmm.
Yes.
Dr Laura (16:29)
really bite the bullet, read those chapters that Fallon's just pointed you towards and know that in about a week, if that your toddler is going to be happier on just the one nap and so will you.
Dr Fallon (16:43)
Hmm, absolutely. And when they get better nighttime sleep, they wake up more refreshed and they're better able to get through the day on just the one nap. So yeah, it can feel tough for parents to make that change, but it's generally well, well worth it. Yeah. Good.
Dr Laura (16:50)
Mmm.
Yeah. Shall I read the next question from Liz? So Liz is moving her two year old from a cot to a floor bed. Her two year old is sleeping really well and Liz is confident that he's going to be able to sleep well once he's asleep in the floor bed. But she's worried that during the day he's not going to nap in his floor bed. So her question is, should they stagger the transition to the floor bed?
Dr Fallon (17:00)
Yeah, absolutely.
Dr Laura (17:25)
so that they do just the nights first and keep the naps in the cot or do they do it all at once?
Dr Fallon (17:33)
Hmm. It's a great question. There's a lesson in the program as well, which I should have pulled up so I could tell you what it's called. But in the toddler sleep program, there are some lessons on moving your toddler from a cot into a bed and that applies to floor beds as well. And actually in Sombelle, you'll notice on your homepage is a search bar. It's so handy. If you're looking for something, type some search terms in there and you'll immediately see which lessons discuss that topic you're after.
Dr Laura (17:55)
Mm.
Dr Fallon (18:01)
I often think I need to tell more parents about that. I'm sure, I'm sure it's, um, you know, just not being noticed, but it is a really cool function of the program. Um, so look, I would say, yeah, you absolutely can stagger it. Um, there's no reason why, you know, you shouldn't. Um, I guess I would be thinking about your toddler's temperament. So for some toddlers, you know, we, you're probably going to make a bit of a fuss like, Oh, we've got, we've got a new bed. This is so nice. Look at your floor bed. It's got a special blanket.
Dr Laura (18:14)
Mm -hmm.
Yeah.
Dr Fallon (18:30)
So when you introduce that floor bed at night, your toddler might be thinking, well, I don't want to go back in my cot. That's for babies and I'm big now. And so you might not be able to control how quickly you make that transition. Depending on your toddler's temperament, you might just need to go, okay, it's all sleeps in the bed now. And we're just packing up the cot. So yeah, you could certainly try staggering it a little. And if it's not working well, then just make that clean transition.
Dr Laura (18:37)
Yes.
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.
Mm -hmm.
Yeah.
Dr Fallon (18:57)
Um, and I think you would typically say to parents, um, when you're moving your toddler to either a bed or a floor bed, think about safety. It's so important because toddlers have gotten injured because they don't understand that they are supposed to stay in their bed and that they shouldn't try sliding down the stairs on their bottom at 10 PM. Like they could just go and get all sorts of wild ideas about things they want to try out. And they might realize that you're not there. Maybe you're asleep and they're thinking great.
Dr Laura (19:06)
Mm -hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Dr Fallon (19:25)
I'm finally going to go and see what that, what the toaster does. So, you know, think about using a baby gate on their bedroom door. If they need you, they'll walk over to the gate and they'll call out for you. You'll still hear them, but you know, they're not going to go wandering the house. And please always make sure any cords you have hanging for adjusting your blinds on your windows. Many toddlers like to kind of use them as a necklace and put it around their neck and dance around a bit. It's a recipe for disaster.
Dr Laura (19:28)
Yeah.
Mm -hmm.
Yes.
Mm -hmm.
Hmm.
Dr Fallon (19:53)
please make sure that those cords are either secured to the wall or remove them, come up with some other system for keeping them well out of the way. So really go into your toddler's bedroom and think, if I was a curious toddler, what would I want to do in here? It might be that you've got to secure some cupboards or a bookcase to the wall using a bracket before you can take them out of their cot.
Dr Laura (20:00)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yes. Oh, Fallon, that reminds me of a family I saw in clinic recently, where we were talking about this exact thing. And I said, if you've got any chests of drawers, then think about securing them to the wall so that your toddler doesn't open the drawers and use it as a staircase. And this mum said that that is one of her earliest memories is using the chest of drawers in her bedroom when she was little as a staircase.
Dr Fallon (20:33)
Mmm.
Ha ha ha ha!
Oh no.
Dr Laura (20:45)
And she thought it was great to climb up these steps and then dance on the top of the chest of drawers. So she was like, yeah, I'm definitely gonna make sure that the chest of drawers is secured because if my toddler is anything like what I was like, she might do the same thing.
Dr Fallon (20:51)
Hahaha!
Yeah, absolutely. And just know that they won't always sleep exactly where you expect they're going to sleep because once they've got a bed they can get in and out and do whatever. I remember when I took the side off the cot for my second born, he slept really well all night and I kind of woke up in the morning and I was like, because I didn't have a video monitor, he was close enough that I'd just listen out for him. But I woke up and I thought, gosh, he's been really quiet, he must have slept really well. And I walked into his bedroom and he was gone.
Dr Laura (21:08)
Mm.
Oh my god.
Dr Fallon (21:29)
I was like, where is he? Oh my God. Like I've sort of panicked for a second. And then I crouched down and he had rolled out of the cot and kept sleeping on the floor. Like he just got plonk on the floor. Didn't wake him. And I'm not surprised. He's a very heavy sleeper. And he'd rolled all the way under the cot and was sort of snuggled in between the carpet and the wall in his little sleeping bag, sleeping beautifully under the cot.
Dr Laura (21:48)
Ah.
Yeah. Oh my goodness. But yes, so important then that you do make sure that there isn't anything dangerous underneath the bed. There isn't anything there that your child could suffocate on, get themselves entangled in any cords, electrical cords that you have, like an extension cord, for example, you really need to be making sure that those are properly secured.
Dr Fallon (22:02)
Yeah.
Mmm.
Ahem.
Dr Laura (22:22)
because yeah, you wouldn't ever in a million years have expected your child to do that, Fallon. And he did. So just expect the unexpected when it comes to moving your toddler into a bed and go into your bedroom with a kind of detective hat on, get down to their level and look all the way around to make sure that there's nothing down low that you can't see from an adult perspective, but your toddler might find at three o 'clock in the morning.
Dr Fallon (22:27)
Yes.
Yes.
Hehehe
Yes.
Absolutely. Do you know the one thing that really kind of freaks me out? That's really dangerous for babies and toddlers and anyone actually, but so few parents seem to be aware of is, you know, often we have a humidifier, right? For, you know, when they've got a cold or something and you want the air to be that bit more moist. And a lot of parents will put in some kind of mixture into that water in the humidifier that usually contains eucalyptus oil. Cause we sort of think of eucalyptus as being good at clearing sinuses. Eucalyptus oil is poison.
Dr Laura (23:13)
Mm.
Dr Fallon (23:18)
It's actually, it might be natural, but it's poisonous. And there have been children who've lifted the lid off the humidifier, you know, played in the water with their hands a little bit and put their hands in their mouth and then they are very unwell. It's really dangerous. So do keep that one in mind. Keep that solution well out of their way. Keep the humidifier well out of their way. Yeah. Eucalyptus oil is actually quite dangerous. Hmm.
Dr Laura (23:27)
Oh my goodness.
Yeah.
Hmm.
So I hope we haven't scared you Liz.
Dr Fallon (23:44)
Yes, Liz is probably thinking, oh gosh, I've got to put a lid on the cot now. I've got to keep them in there a bit longer. But no, you'll be fine. It's just always good to think through all the things because toddlers can really surprise us.
Dr Laura (23:58)
Yeah, yeah. Well, good luck, Liz. Let us know how you get on and whether you're able to do the naps in the cot still and just the floor bed at night or whether your child is having none of it and declares himself a big kid now and will only sleep in the floor bed day and night. So yeah, good luck. We have another question from Lianne
Dr Fallon (24:02)
Mmm.
Yeah.
Dr Laura (24:26)
So Lianne has emailed asking about how to drop overnight feeds. Her eight -month -old daughter has been sleeping well after doing Sombelle but has now begun to wake three or more times a night wanting to breastfeed back to sleep. So she writes, I wouldn't mind feeding her once a night but would like her to sleep longer stretches. I'm just not sure how to go about dropping feeds.
Lianne asks whether it's better to drop all feeds or to keep one feed in the night and perhaps offer her a bottle instead of the breast, which her husband can do. And she says, if we keep one feed, how would we do it? Would we push her first feed to five or six hours since bedtime, in which case, how do we resettle her when she waits later on in the night and her sleep pressure is much lower?
Good questions, Lianne She's given us some context. Her baby generally naps well. When she's at home, she has a longer nap in the morning and a shorter one in the afternoon. Normally makes sure her baby's awake by four, so that she has a good long four, four and a half hour wake window before bed. The only issue that Lianne tells us about the naps is that when she's at daycare, which is four days a week, sometimes her naps are a little bit less predictable.
Dr Fallon (25:19)
Mmm.
Dr Laura (25:46)
And so she might have those naps that are similar to when she's at home, but other times she has two short naps and then she falls asleep in the car on the way home. And because it's a bit of a drive, there's not much that they can do about that. They make sure that they wake her up to 10 to 20 minutes. And that generally means that on childcare days, bedtime is a little bit later, can be up to 9 .30 at night.
Dr Fallon (25:51)
CLEARS THROAT
Dr Laura (26:15)
So Fallon, what advice would you offer this family?
Dr Fallon (26:20)
Yeah. The first thing I'm thinking is that how you're managing the variability in the days is fine. It's probably the best you can really do because we can't control how long naps go for a childcare. Um, over time, you might find that, you know, your daughter falls into a bit more of a pattern than it's, you know, each day starts to be a little bit more similar. Um, and that's fine in terms of the overnight wakes, you know, it definitely sounds like she's probably thinking, well, I know if I wake up, there is a feed on offer.
Dr Laura (26:40)
Mm.
Mm -hmm.
Dr Fallon (26:48)
So she'll wake up and call out for that bit of comfort because it's lovely. And that's quite understandable. So I'd be thinking, is she having three solid meals a day? Is she being offered three meals? Because generally if they're over six months of age and they're having three meals per day, they tend to not need the overnight feeds in order to meet the total number of calories that they need to grow and develop well.
Dr Laura (26:57)
Mmm.
Mm.
Dr Fallon (27:13)
So you absolutely can start to reduce the night feeds and she'll compensate by taking on more calories in the daytime. She might even show more interest in solid foods when you start to reduce the overnight feeds. So definitely I would start to reduce the overnight feeds. I would say try to, if you were to move, say just to one feed and you might even start with two feeds and then move to one, that's totally fine as well. And what you want to do is like Lianne mentions, sleep pressure is higher at the beginning.
Dr Laura (27:36)
Mm -hmm.
Dr Fallon (27:42)
of the night. So it's easier to push the feeds later on in the night. And different people say different things about this, but this is just what I tend to observe with the families I've worked with. So I would tend to say, okay, I'm going to offer that first feed maybe at say 2am or later. And if the baby wakes up before that, you'll choose one of the settling approaches in Sombelle and you'll use that approach to help resettle your baby.
Dr Laura (27:47)
Hmm.
Mm -hmm.
Dr Fallon (28:05)
Get them as close to that feed time as you can. Generally after a couple of nights, they're then used to not having the feed until around about that time and they stop waking up that bit earlier. Then when you're ready to drop the feed, I think it's really personal. So some parents definitely will get someone else to offer a bottle so that then they're no longer expecting a breastfeed overnight, but something different. And then it can be easier to reduce the quantity in that bottle. So you're offering less and less each night and they're
Dr Laura (28:12)
Mm -hmm.
Mm -hmm.
Dr Fallon (28:32)
Their bodies are just adjusting to having fewer calories overnight. Um, but I think it does come down to the individual baby because some babies will be furious that there's less in that bottle. Um, and they'll cope better just not being offered it and being resettled instead. Um, so you can have a bit of a think about whether it's better to gradually, um, reduce the amount in that bottle or to just drop it cold turkey. But given you're doing three breastfeeds a night, I definitely wouldn't drop.
Dr Laura (28:45)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Dr Fallon (28:57)
three breastfeeds cold turkey because we want to give her body that chance to compensate and take on more calories in the day. So yeah, I would choose what approach you're going to use to resettle her without a feed. Practice that for all of her settles, even if you're using a different approach, just start to use one approach for resettling so that when you do go to resettle her, she thinks, oh, okay, I'm not going to get a feed because when this happens, I know that means we're going back to sleep again. Yeah, would you add anything to that, Laura?
Dr Laura (29:01)
Yeah.
No, I think that all sounds very sensible, Fallon. When you get down to just the one feed, Lianne then it really is a case of you deciding when you want to drop that feed altogether, whether it's a breastfeed or a bottle feed. We know that some babies cope really well just having the one feed a night. And parents may continue to do it until the time of their choosing. Many parents will think...
Dr Fallon (29:36)
Hmm.
Dr Laura (29:49)
12 months is the time that they're going to stop the overnight feeds, but that's purely parental choice. If you find that your baby continues to wake overnight, when you've been using that one particular way to resettle her and you're only offering her the one feed, then it might be that you have a baby who is a little bit more temperamental when it comes to the feed. And we do find sometimes that some babies wake up going, is it time yet?
know I'm going to get a feed tonight. What about now? What about now? And now? And they keep waking until they get the feed. Now, if you find that that's the case for your baby, then it's going to be easier and kinder for them and for you to drop that feed altogether, particularly when their solid meals are really established during the day. But if you find that you're just on the one nap,
Dr Fallon (30:18)
Hmm. And now, yeah. Yes.
Hmm.
Dr Laura (30:42)
and sorry, one feed overnight and she's coping beautifully and not having wakes all the way around it, then you can continue with that for as long as you like.
Dr Fallon (30:50)
Yeah, absolutely. And as I always say to families, it's usually two nights with no feeds being offered and they forget about it. And when they no longer expect there to be any feeds overnight, most babies will just start to sleep really well, unless there's a sleep pressure problem. But yeah, we don't have any evidence here from what Lianne's saying that there is one. So yeah, well done Liane and let us know how everything goes. We'd love to hear an update.
Dr Laura (31:02)
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, well done.
Dr Fallon (31:17)
Yeah, good. So that brings us to the end of all of our parent questions for the week. Thanks again to all of our lovely members who sent in these great questions, because it's not only, I think, helpful for you to get an answer to your questions, but it helps so many parents. We get emails from parents all the time saying, I've never sent in a question, but I'm just loving hearing that other parents are having the exact same struggles that I'm having, and it can feel very validating. And that's just really, really lovely to hear.
Dr Laura (31:41)
Yeah.
Dr Fallon (31:45)
There are coaching calls available if you're a member and you think, hang on, I'm not managing too well, or I just want to have a check -in with either me or Laura. You can absolutely do that. I've just opened up, I think this week's pretty full. Next week I've opened up a couple of appointments to fit a few more in if someone needs them. We are also going to be doing something pretty cool. When will it be? Not this weekend, weekend after, Saturday the 11th of May.
the Parents You've Got This people and they're very lovely people are having a wonderful family picnic. It's going to be at St Vincent's garden in Albert Park from 9am until 1pm. And there's going to be really cool things for families. So if you just need a good family day out, come and join us. We will be there. There is going to be things like family yoga, massages, book reading, kids entertainment, and a panel of experts to answer all of your parenting questions. So.
You can come along and meet us and say hi. We'd love to get some photos with all your gorgeous babies and have lots of baby cuddles. And there's a tote bag for the first hundred families who come along and it's all free. I think it's might be sponsored by Mustela who sponsors parents you've got this. So they provide a lot of lovely support so that we can have these beautiful events. And it means that you are building your parenting village and community. If you are feeling a little lonely and you're in Melbourne.
Dr Laura (32:46)
Yes.
Yes.
Mm.
Dr Fallon (33:11)
come along, we would just be so thrilled to meet you and your little ones.
Dr Laura (33:14)
Yeah. And that's on Saturday, the 11th of May.
we also recently recorded some podcasts with the Parents You've Got This lovely ladies, Christy and Freya. Now they have a podcast called The Expert Guide to Parenthood. And it's a wonderful podcast where they bring together a range of experts on a whole host of
subject areas that are relevant to pregnancy and the early years of parenting. So they have lactation consultants, obstetricians, pediatricians, yoga teachers, so many things. And Fallon and I are their sleep experts. So if you do want to listen to another podcast, you want a recommendation of a podcast listen to when you're on your walks, then check out The Expert Guide to Parenthood.
It's a really wonderful evidence -based podcast and will probably touch upon a range of subjects that are really pertinent to your current life stage. We are recording another few episodes with Christy and Freya just this coming weekend as well, aren't we, Fallon? So it's going to be really nice to do that.
Dr Fallon (34:21)
Hmm.
Yeah, we are. Yeah, it's a great way to get advice from, from actual experts. I think in, in podcast land, there's a lot of variability in the level of expertise you're going to get. So yeah, it is a great place for families to go and get really good advice. Um, excellent. So yeah, look, if you've been listening along to the podcast, um, and haven't subscribed, please subscribe. Um, it helps, I think with the algorithms, you know, we get suggested to other parents who.
Dr Laura (34:39)
Yes.
Dr Fallon (34:58)
you know, have similar interests and that sort of thing. Um, thank you to those who've left us lovely five star reviews. We love you. And if you love our podcast, please show your love and give us five stars. That would be wonderful. And Laura on the weekend, we, I think some people wouldn't even think this is exciting, but I'm excited because we hit 4 ,000 Instagram followers, which I don't always had it in my head that four, four thousand was really exciting and amazing. So I'm quite happy that we've, we've passed that milestone.
Dr Laura (35:03)
Yes.
Yay!
Dr Fallon (35:26)
Um, we're also posting some, some bits and pieces on Tik Tok and Facebook as well. So you're not following along with us. It's another great way to get, just getting things like little checklists and, you know, things you can look for and check off with your baby. Um, useful little bits of information, um, that will hopefully help you on your parenting
Dr Laura (35:46)
So thanks everyone for listening to us and giving us follows on social media. It's really wonderful. We love to be the sensible voice of reason amongst all the misinformation out there with regards to babies and toddler sleep and settling. So thank you so much. We love your reviews and we love having you listen in every week to our podcast.
Dr Fallon (36:08)
Yeah absolutely have a great week everyone we'll be back again next week.
Dr Laura (36:11)
Thanks everyone, bye bye.
